The Choice is Yours: How to Let Go of the Things that Dont Serve You Anymore

What if I told you that you have a choice to let go of the things that don’t serve you anymore? That the anger you are holding on to can be replaced with compassion, and that we can transform the sorrow you are going through to loving-kindness and empathy?

Holding on to anger, bitterness and sorrow reaps havoc of the mind and always contributes to more inner conflict. It can have big consequences on your mental health and your physical well-being.

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Title: Let Go / Art by Tiaga Nihal Kaur / Mindful HeartWork

Letting go completely can be very scary and we bargain with our own mind if we should start with little baby steps just so we can let go a little, just to have the feeling of some control. But ask yourself if this control resolves your suffering and inner conflict that it creates? How does fully letting go feel to you? How would a complete release of anger feel without it having to end up in another migraine? Its important to reflect upon how you yourself define the very act of letting go? To let go, I think it’s beneficial to learn how to forgive. I define letting go as something we leave behind without forgetting, we can learn the value of our own suffering or what burdens us through introspection and meditation and questioning our own minds. We need not carry other people’s weight on our shoulders or in our lives, that is their responsibility. What you can do in this situation is to handle your own emotions and thoughts, these are the energies that you have full control over, not everyone else’s. Letting go implies stepping into freedom and that you learn from an experience and differentiate whether you are experiencing inner conflict on a subject you can’t handle or whether the subject is in your control? Reflecting on these things brings great awareness and introspection to the core of the imbalance so you can find a direction. And from there you can decide to fully release whatever limitations that hold you back from living a healthy and happy life.

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The power of forgiveness in Yoga : KSHAMA

To forgive means the ability to let go of the experiences from the mind and not to hold on to memories of past events. It means living in the present. You do not forgive for the sake of other people. It is more for your own benefit. If you can forgive, life becomes more pleasant and harmonious. Whereas revenge brings anger and remorse and creates karma, forgiveness brings happiness and lightness to your heart.

One technique that can help us to move forward and help us let go of our troubles is that when we are revisited by a painful memory, we can reconsider it from a different, more empathetic perspective. A memory is fixed in our mind since it is based on a particular event or situation, but we hold the power in our mind to change how we react to this specific memory. This allows us to gain a new control with a new perspective.

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”

Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation
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What keeps us from reaching our full potential?

Have you ever held a grudge or blamed someone else for how they made you feel? Many people hold grudges, and sometimes they even last a lifetime, which leaves an emotional scar that seems impossible to heal. In 2017 I got the chance to interview Eva Mozes Kor who survived the Holocaust, Eva emerged from a trauma-filled childhood as a brilliant example of the human spirit’s power to overcome. Eva Mozes Kor is also known for forgiving the Nazis. 

If somebody discovered the cure for cancer, a cure for diabetes, should they be quiet about it?» I have discovered the cure for helping victims to heal themselves. Should I be quiet?”

Eva Mozes Kor

When Eva and her sister Miriam were six, their village was occupied by a Hungarian Nazi armed guard. In 1944, after four years’ occupation, they transported the family to the regional ghetto in Simleu Silvaniei for about 2.5 months. Then they were packed into a cattle car and transported to the Auschwitz death camp. Eva and Miriam became part of a group of children used as human guinea pigs in genetic experiments under the direction of Dr. Josef Mengele. Approximately 1500 sets of twins—3000 children—were abused, and most died because of these experiments. Eva herself became deathly ill, but through sheer determination, she stayed alive and helped Miriam survive.

Eva Mozes Kor was a dedicated speaker of forgiveness. Image in courtesy by CANDLES Holocaust Museum and Education Center. 

I asked Eva Mozes Kor how she defines forgiveness personally and she said that it is one of the smartest and most therapeutic things that she has done for herself to make her life better, more pleasant, more joyous and happier. She continued to say that there is nothing on the face of this earth that she has done before, that comes close to forgiveness. People have a misconception that forgiveness is for the perpetrator. But forgiveness is for you, the survivor and the former victim.

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Sometimes letting go is an act of far greater power than defending and hanging on.


PRANAYAM to let go and release attachments by metta yoga

Benefits:  This mediation and pranayam will create a deep concentration and a detachment that allows you to observe your attachments. Once you identify with your attachments, you can let them go by dis-identifying with them, or by giving the object of attachment to the Infinite, the Cosmos or God. This meditation is also used to combat tension and hypertension.

Instructions: Sit in an easy pose with a light Jalandhara bandha ( a neck lock ) Relax the mind as you come into this seated position. if you find it difficult to sit in easy pose with the legs crossed just use whatever feels comfortable for you; a chair for example. Keep the spine straight and the chest slightly lifted. Relax the shoulders and raise both hands in front of the center of the chest at the level of the heart center.

Eye Position: Fix the eyes on the knuckles of the thumbs.

Mudra: The palms face towards each other. Curl the fingers into a loose fist. Keep the thumbs extended and point them upwards. Bring the hands toward each other until the top segment of the thumbs touch toward each other, until the top segment of the thumbs touch along the side of the thumbs. The rest of the hands stay separated.

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Title: Let Go / Art by Tiaga Nihal Kaur / Mindful HeartWork

Breath Pattern: Bring your concentration to the breath, try to create a steady breath rhythm with the following ratio;

Inhale: Slowly through the nose for 8 seconds.
Pause: Hold the breath for 8 seconds.
Exhale: Trough the nose for 8 seconds.
Pause: Hold the breath for 8 seconds.

Once this pattern is set, you can gradually increase the time from 8 seconds to as long as you like. If you increase the time, keep the time equal in each section of the pranayam. If you feel this breathing pattern is to challenging, just breathe slowly and deeply, still focusing on the knuckles of the thumbs.

Time: Begin this practice gradually. Start with 3 minutes. Increase the time to 31 minutes by adding 3-5 minutes per week of practice.

To end: At the end of the pranayam, inhale deeply, stretch the hands over the head, and open and close the fists several times. Relax the breath.

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Kundalini Yoga Library of Kriyas and Mediations, Metta Yoga Kundalini Yoga, Yoga Teacher, Yoga lærer. meditasjon, mediat

Resources: I have made a library of yoga exercises for you, you can click on the link and try some Kundalini meditations and kriyas below.

Kundalini Yoga Kriyas
Kundalini Yoga Meditation


Thank you for stopping by. If you enjoyed my post, make sure to leave a mindful* comment below or ask questions about whatever comes to your mind.

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Thank you for reading!

With loving kindness,
Tiaga Nihal Kaur.
Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti, ॐ

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